We use the word “survivor” rather than “victim” because someone who has disclosed an assault to you has survived a traumatic experience and has entered the process of healing. If someone you know has been assaulted, you can help her or him in the following ways.
IF THE ASSAULT JUST OCCURRED
- Make sure your friend is safe.
- Help your friend get medical attention.
- Offer to call the USC Center for Women & Men, the Santa Monica Rape Treatment Center or another advocacy service where professionals can assist in dealing with the trauma. The USC Center for Women & Men has someone available 24 hours a day by calling 213-740-4900 (after hours, follow the instructions on reaching an on-call staff member).
- Offer to stay with your friend or call someone else who your friend wants there.
- Offer to call the police is your friend wants to report the rape to law enforcement. The USC Department of Public Safety’s emergency number is 213-740-4321, and the Los Angeles Police Department may be reached by calling 911. Remember that your friend has the right to an advocate from the Center for Women & Men to help her or him through the process. Reporting the assault does not mean your friend must prosecute, but it will ensure the availability of that option in the future, should the survivor so decide. However, do not force your friend to report.
AT ANY TIME: IMMEDIATELY AFTER OR MUCH LATER
- Listen to what the survivor tells you. Sometimes assault victims need to talk about the attack. Don't interrogate her or him.
- Don't blame your friend for her or his decisions.
- Allow the survivor the freedom to choose when, where and how to talk about the trauma.
- Believe the survivor. People rarely make up stories about being sexual assault survivors.
- Be sensitive. Let the person know that you do not subscribe to any of the common myths about sexual assault. Understand that the person has suffered extreme humiliation.
- Respect your friend's confidentiality.
- Be patient. Recovery from rape trauma is slow. Your friend sets the pace.
- Realize that you have strong feelings about the trauma. If needed, seek counseling for yourself. The Center for Women and Men offers a discussion group for friends.
- Remember that whatever the rape victim did to survive the attack was exactly what he or she needed to do. The victim did not cause the attack and is not at fault.